Friday, October 21, 2011

Dating Jokes

Blind Date

Alex sets up his friend Bob to go on a blind date with a college friend.

Bob is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Bob, "I'll be with her all night."

"Don't worry," Alex says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake a heart attack."

That night Bob knocks at the girl's door. When she comes out he is awe-struck at how hot and gorgeous she is.

He's about to speak when the girl suddenly grabs for her chest and lets out a loud ... "Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"

Friends - Season 1-10 Complete Collection (15th Anniversary) [DVD] from

12 things not to say on a date

Nice haircut! We used to do something like that with my mom's poodle!

I gotta call my mom to come and pick us up

All right! All-you-can-eat pizza! Last time I scoffed 36 slices before I got sick. Wonder if I can beat that tonight?

I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you

Wow, your best friend sure is hot

I still can't believe you said yes when I asked you out! The last 38 I tried all said no. I was going for a Guinness World Record!

Do you mind getting the bill? I am broke" (if you are male)

I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it

I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be, I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look

I couldn't get reservations. We're going to McDonalds

It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am

I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired

A Girls first date

It was her first date, and she'd shown the patience of a saint as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose his barber.

Finally, he came up for air and said, "But enough about me. Let's talk about you."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

He went on, "What do you think about me?"

Hahaha.. Lame.
Er yeah mate whatever
very funny
i don't get it ?

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